Dinner [for Essie]

[bachjones]

 The woman at the coffee place had recognized Isaac, and had looked at Bach like he was a kidnapper and murderer all in one wrapping. It had taken his son not only ordering a coffee for Essie, but also knowing precisely how she liked it and a silly anecdote about how Isaac was showing Bach around town because Essie was too busy or some nonsense, to make the woman step away from the phone. They could have just sung. 

It was pretty clear that Isaac had a bit of a clue about what was going on, but he didn't want to talk about it, and Bach didn't really either. So they talked about the things he had learned at school, about the trips they'd make together when Isaac was older, and when Bach would have a guitar again. After all that, he neatly returned his son to his adoptive mother. 

Bach had found a few more of his things at the beach, including his guitar, snares broken but still a chance to live. It hurt to see the instrument like that, but it also gave him hope. He could bounce back. He would. 

He visited Lily Middleton for a shower and a new outfit, protesting any police involvement, he just wanted to go have dinner with his son. Mrs Middleton wasn't amused, but she allowed it. She was a good woman.

Neatly at the time discussed, Bach tried to show up on Essie's door step. "Essie!" Was she really still putting magic up for him? 

 

Comments

[wakingwakewood]

There was no way she wasn't going to make a complete mess of this, but there was no way out of it. After Isaac had recovered from the suddenness of the meeting at the shop, he'd started to get excited. He wanted to show Daddy his room and his drawings from school and the books she'd read to him at bedtime. She'd made a point not to go overboard with the toys, but she knew Isaac wanted to show Daddy his new stuffed animals and ocean-themed bed linens. Then there were the toys Isaac had picked out for Dan that they both played with and then... well, he was a kid. He could be excited. So Essie let him have his fun making plans as she put together dinner.

It was going to be pretty simple, pasta, garlic bread, salad, but all the chopping and assembly was good for keeping her emotions in check so Isaac couldn't tell how rocky her emotions were. She wanted this to go well, she really did, but she didn't know how to get Bach to realize how bad he had left things and how hard she'd worked to put them right again. How she'd made a home for Isaac and how dare he think he could just come back and upend the whole thing? In fact, she was trying so hard not to think about Bach that she forgot to drop the house wards and didn't realize it until Dan perked up his ears and she realized she could hear him yelling.

"Time to wash up, Isaac, Daddy's here!" She called as she rested her palms on the cool kitchen counter and sunk her will into her home, slowly undoing the spell she'd crafted to specifically exclude Bach. She felt bad about it, but after the way he'd acted shed just been... afraid. Something else she hated him for, making her afraid like that, like he was going to barge in and break her heart. Again. When she was sure that the house was visible to him, she took her pals off the counter and wiped them on the apron she'd put on over her blouse and slacks before heading to the door.

Please, whatever god was listening, don't let this be a disaster.

[bachjones]

"I still don't understand why you feel like you had to use magic against me." It was the wrong way to start off, and yet Bach had managed it immediately. "I found my guitar", he added, showing it to her. "I haven't planned on using it or anything but I don't have any place to store anything right now. And it feels good, to have it with me again. And I'm pretty sure that the coffee place at the end of the road got Alfred. But that's something to check on for tomorrow. Cats always land on their feet, anyway."

That was a bit better? Pets were an okay subject, right? "Am I early? You're not making a super fancy dinner, aren't you?" Not that he'd mind, he was starving. But super fancy food might get in the way of the honest conversation he really couldn't keep off any longer. "Can I come in?"

[wakingwakewood]

Opening her mouth to tell Back exactly why she'd used her magic, she immediately closed it again. It wasn't going to help anyone and he'd already made it perfectly clear that he wasn't going to see any side but his own in this. Besides, he just kept barreling on with a list of statements that only barely made sense to her. Why did he have the guitar with him, she didn't know, she wasn't going to ask. She just needed to bite her tongue long enough to get through dinner.

"Nothing fancy, just a salad, some pasta and garlic bread. Come one, you can help set the table with Isaac." Moving aside, she let him in, still not sure this was the best idea in the world. "He's really excited to have you for dinner. Been planning all afternoon what he wants to show you."

[bachjones]

"Show me? You don't have him cooking, do you?" Well, he was inside and Essie hadn't thrown anything at him yet. "Or school work? Does he still like to draw? That was a thing, when I-"

"I'll leave my guitar here." Bach took it off his back, gently lowering it to the ground. "Poor thing."

He followed her to the kitchen, trying to calm his nerves by distracting himself with listening to her. It wouldn't make him feel more welcome, but it wouldn't make things worse either. "Can I grab the plates by myself or did you have anything fancy pl- hey, Isaac."
His son was looking at them like they were his science projects. "I'm back already! Do you think you can eat again, even though we've had so many donuts?"

"I like garlic bread", was his soft reply. "If we set the table I can show you my room. Right?"

His room. Yes, of course. Bach looked at Essie. "Help us out here. You're clearly the man in charge tonight."

[wakingwakewood]

"Yeah, you guys can grab the plates and cups from that cabinet." She pointed, plastering a smile on her face. She was going to make this work if it killed her.

"Nothing fancy, I need to finish putting together the salad so you have a few minutes. I'll call you when everything's ready, okay? Go on." It would give her time to settle her nerves and give Isaac time to be with his dad. He was very ha[[y to have him here, she was sure, but he wasn't oblivious to the fact that she wasn't as happy as he was. Poor kid, maybe it was a siren thing or just a kid thing, but he'd picked up on everything and wanted so badly for everyone to be happy.

[bachjones]

Essie was still actively hating him, wasn't she? Bach didn't know what he could do to make it better, he only knew how to make things worse.

Isaac went ahead, very carefully collecting three cups before pointing out, hands full, the plates. "I can see them, ma- Isaac. Will you manage getting them on the table?"

"I can." Isaac stood on tiptoes and shoved them to the middle of the table. "What's a ' ma-'? Will you, will you be - don't forget the plates." His son turned, moving the cups around.

"Isaac." Bach knelt down. "Come here for a second, let me give you a hug." That was allowed, wasn't it? "I'm sure we're quicker with setting the table than Essie is with tossing some pasta around. Or - or don't you want a hug?" Maybe he didn't, maybe Essie had explained everything. Maybe she hadn't, because Isaac turned and almost jumped into his arms, hiding his face against Bach's shoulder. Bach was pretty sure he recognized a The Manhattans song.
"Missed you as well, kid.It's good - I'm glad to have you again."

[wakingwakewood]

Pointedly ignoring the scene unfolding behind her, Essie focuses on chopping the rest of the veggies for the salad. She was glad that Isaac had Bach right now, hopefully he was going to stick around for awhile, but deep down she honestly wondered. And if he did take off, would he try and take Isaac?

Because that was her real fear here, that after the crash course in motherhood she'd had the last few weeks, he was just going to take Isaac and disappear. It would be difficult, especially if he didn't remove the charm she'd given to Isaac, the one he wore on his wrist, but it was possible for him to try. And she didn't know what she'd do. Fight, certainly, but it scared her to think how far she'd probably go.

[bachjones]

"Plates", Isaac murmured after what seemed forever but probably was no more than two songs braiding together, making Bach realize everything he had almost permanently lost. He wasn't leaving again. Not without Isaac.

"Plates", Bach agreed, letting Isaac go and slowly getting up, his knees cracking. "That's just me sounding old, Isaac. But not old old, you know? I'm not disappearing on you any time soon." Not again. Bach would make his death the first and last time. "Do you have a favorite plate, hah? One just for you?"

Isaac looked at Essie's back before nodding.

"Think Essie will allow you to use it? Just point it out for me. Me and your - Essie can just eat of regular plates, I'm sure."

[wakingwakewood]

She was glad that her back was turned when Bach's tongue tripped. He wouldn't see the flinch, wouldn't know that now it actually hurt her. She'd been letting Isaac call her Mama for weeks now, it was what finally felt right. The whole situation was so messed up, from the fairy tale right down to this, but if there was one thing she was sure of is was her love for that little boy. It was insane, didn't make any sense, but it was what she felt. More strangely, it was what she wanted.

Wiping the tear from her eye, and keeping the she pointed back at the cabinet. "The musical set, with the cartoon animals. There's a cup that goes with it on the shelf above."

[bachjones]

"Musical set, hah? Guess you're your father's son." Bach hugged him again before lifting him up to set him on his shoulders, something he has seen often enough at the kindergarten, but had always felt like it was so very show offish. Isaac let out a surprised squeal before latching onto him, both hands tugging at his hair. "Think we're tall enough to reach it, Isaac?"

"Mama, look!" The discomfort had completely left his son's song now, and it made Bach relax as well. He could come up with something, for Isaac, for how he felt when he made the boy happy. But when had Essie started allowing Isaac calling her mama?

[wakingwakewood]

With a genuine smile, she swept the last of the veggies into the salad bowl with the lettuce and turned to look. There. That was what was supposed to happen weeks ago. That was why he shouldn't have left, that smile on Isaac's face. That smile that no matter how much she tried and how hard she loved him was just for his father.

Hopefully that was finally getting through the asshole's skull.

"Maybe I should get you the duster so you two can to the tops of everything before dinner. Work up an appetite?"

[bachjones]

"You hear that? She's putting us to work without getting any food first? She always does that when I'm gone?" It was the wrong word, Isaac's hands turned into painful fists right away and Bach tried not to winch. "Kid, I like my hair. Please don't make me bald, bald musicians don't sell so great."

And in a better world, he'd ask Essie if she could still love him if he was bald, but that was just another thing on the long lists of fuck ups, wasn't it? If there ever had been love, there would be absolutely nothing left of it by now. "Es-"
No, better not.

Isaac released his hair and leaned into him, reaching for the plate. "I have the plate", he said solemnly. "Closer, please. For the cup."

[wakingwakewood]

"Oh, yes, I'm an absolute terror. I even make cute little boys wash their hands before eating. I guess that means both of you this time." As soon as she said it, she couldn't figure out if the cute part was flirting or the little boy part was insulting to Bach. Instead of elaborating and making whatever it was she was about to elaborate on worse, she picked up the bowl and took it to the table. Both the garlic bread and past were keeping warm in the oven so that meant it was just about dinner time.

"You slowpokes ready with the plates yet? I can grab the silverware."

[bachjones]

The insecurity Essie had about her words made Bach doubt them as well. He was pretty sure she didn't feel like calling him cute, but there was no blatant disgust or surprise to be heard either. Or had she done something to hide herself from him? Was there something different in the way she sounded?

"We are! Oh, sorry!" Bach felt a cup crash against the back of his head, and was glad that both things involved were strong enough to survive. He didn't want to break anything of Isaac's.

"That's fine, Isaac. Remember for the future to not wave your cup around, especially when it's full. That's just a waste. Going down for washing hands!" Bach grabbed him, dipped his head and carefully lowered him to the floor. "Here we go. Plate and cup on the table, hands under the water. Never keep a woman that has been cooking waiting, kid."

[wakingwakewood]

While they washed up, Essie busied herself with grabbing spoons and forks for everyone. Luckily, nothing should need knives. She'd wanted to make this meal as simple as possible, and thank whatever god she wanted, so far it seemed to be going well. So well that she almost debated grabbing a bottle of wine, but passed. There was milk and juice and that would do.

The absolute last thing anyone should ever do was pour alcohol into a combustible solution and these days, that defined her situation with Bach.

"You guys want some Parmesan cheese for the pasta?"She sounded so normal, it surprised even herself.

[bachjones]

"Please." Bach wasn't even sure if he knew what Parmesan cheese for the pasta was. Hopefully it wasn't the weird smelly kind with molt in it.

"Please", Isaac copied, climbing on the chair next to Bach's. "Extra. Please."

"When did you start liking cheese? Parmesan cheese?" He knew that the polite thing to do was to try to add Essie to the conversation, but looking at her was enough to make him feel bad, and it seemed like she didn't really seem to mind. "You're not turning into a mouse, are you? Mouses can't sing, can't play instruments. Y-"

Isaac put a hand on his, cheeks coloring. "Mice", he whispered. "Not mouses. I think."

[wakingwakewood]

Oh, God, that was... embarrassing? Was that the word? She didn't want to feel guilty about expanding Isaac's culinary tastes, but Bach probably wouldn't look at it that way. Oi. Another thing to worry about, the influence of her money vs his.

"I think mouses is kinda cute. I mean, technically it is mice, but I like mouses, too." Setting the salad on the table, she went back for the baked pasta and bread.

[bachjones]

"Thank you, Essie." This was the second time she called him cute, could she stop? It wasn't like Bach would ever forget her and her body, and this wasn't making things easier. "You're right though, Isaac. Ignore me, I don't know anything about anything. But music."

"Music's nice." Isaac removed his hand. "I don't want people to laugh at you. So say mice, next time. Please."

People laugh at me all the time, Bach wanted to remark. Hell, they'll probably find you as a subject some time soon as well. It was his world, their world. "I will never say mouse plus s again, Isaac. Don't worry. You want some salad to go with your Parmesan cheese?"

[wakingwakewood]

The past was covered in foil, so it was pretty easy for her to put the toasted garlic bread on top for the trip to the table. Pulling the pair from the oven, she paused for a moment, looking at Isaac and Bach at her table. It was... painful in a way she couldn't describe. It made her happy, but at the same time, it made her sad. Could have been like that so long ago and it hadn't been.

Brushing the thoughts away, she set out the rest of the food on the table. "Here we go, guys."

[bachjones]

"Thank you, chef." They were all doing moderately well, weren't they? No insults, no screaming, no crying boy in the middle of it all?

Not that it made Bach feel like he could get comfortable, who knew what kind of mine field he was dancing through. And he was starting to run out of things to talk about.

"Enjoy your meal, everybody. You guys don't pray before eating or something, right?"

[wakingwakewood]

"No, but I usually ask Isaac to tell me how his day was." And the more Isaac talked then less she and Bach probably needed to, which was where all the danger was. She was still angry, still felt betrayed for Isaac's sake and still felt afraid that he'd take Isaac away.

As she waited to see what Isaac had to say, she started to fill his plate with pasta and salad. It was an action as automatic as breathing now, one of a million habits she'd picked up in the wake of Isaac's arrival. "Can you pour Isaac some juice?" She had to remind herself to include Bach in things tonight.

[bachjones]

"Where's the -" There was the juice. He could do this, play house.

Isaac looked at the both of them before starting off a story about how he had a piece of music but didn't know enough letters let to write it the way he wanted to. That lasted about ten minutes before he asked if his father would be there for breakfast as well, eyes and song full of careful hope.

So that had been successful for about thirty minutes. "Isaac .. we haven't even finished dinner yet. You're that hungry, that you're already thinking about breakfast? Don't you even want to sleep in between?"

"I'd like to have breakfast with you." He turned to Essie. "Not that with you is bad. Really, mama."

Bach poured the both of them some juice, trying to come up with an explanation that wouldn't make either of them angry. "I have to find Alfred, first thing in the morning. I promised him."

[wakingwakewood]

"I know what you mean, sweetie, but Daddy's just gotten back in town, he needs some time to get settled." And once she was sure he wouldn't try to bolt with Isaac, they could arrange some kind of... visitation? Shared custody? God, that sounded so awful, but that was the only option. She wasn't giving Isaac up anytime soon and Bach, despite everything, maybe did deserve another chance.

"Let's give him a week or two to figure things out before we start making plans." Essie hoped that it sounded pleasant enough to keep Bach from going off. With his hair trigger, she just couldn't guess, but she didn't want to set bad expectations for Isaac.

[bachjones]

Jesus, she really was all over the place with the messages she was sending. She was sending him away but telling him to stick around at the same time, and plans? Those could mean everything.

"We can't just up and run, Isaac. You've got school, you've got friends, you've got Da-"

"Run?" Isaac paled. "Not run. No running. You're not going. Nowhere. You stay here. With us? And Dan?" He loaded his fork with pasta, but his hand was shaking. Both hurt and anger, it sounded like. "You're not running."

Fuck. "Maybe we can enjoy dinner first, Isaac. We're not going to have a discussion during pasta and garlic bread, okay? That's not fair for the cook."

[wakingwakewood]

And this was why she wasn't happy. She knew that Isaac would want everyone to be happily ever after. She'd tried to set expectations, but he was a kid, he didn't get things like Mama wanted to punch Daddy in the face most of the time so he couldn't live with them. She'd tried to tell Bach that Isaac had been putting roots down here, that trying to take him and leave would be traumatic.

Did anyone listen to her? Nope.

Essie shifted over until she was kneeling by Isaac's chair, reaching up to rub his back a little. "It's okay, sweetheart. Daddy's not leaving you again, no one's leaving, but he can't stay here. Not right now. But he's not leaving, and you'll see him plenty, okay?" Looking over to Bach, she had a feeling she didn't need to tell him what she thought about him inserting the idea of running with Isaac into the kid's head. Now he could worry about Daddy taking him from Mama AND Daddy just leaving. Lovely.