Dinner [for Essie]

[bachjones]

 The woman at the coffee place had recognized Isaac, and had looked at Bach like he was a kidnapper and murderer all in one wrapping. It had taken his son not only ordering a coffee for Essie, but also knowing precisely how she liked it and a silly anecdote about how Isaac was showing Bach around town because Essie was too busy or some nonsense, to make the woman step away from the phone. They could have just sung. 

It was pretty clear that Isaac had a bit of a clue about what was going on, but he didn't want to talk about it, and Bach didn't really either. So they talked about the things he had learned at school, about the trips they'd make together when Isaac was older, and when Bach would have a guitar again. After all that, he neatly returned his son to his adoptive mother. 

Bach had found a few more of his things at the beach, including his guitar, snares broken but still a chance to live. It hurt to see the instrument like that, but it also gave him hope. He could bounce back. He would. 

He visited Lily Middleton for a shower and a new outfit, protesting any police involvement, he just wanted to go have dinner with his son. Mrs Middleton wasn't amused, but she allowed it. She was a good woman.

Neatly at the time discussed, Bach tried to show up on Essie's door step. "Essie!" Was she really still putting magic up for him? 

 

Comments

[bachjones]

"Salad?" Isaac sighed with all the drama he could muster in his little body. "I already had salad."

"I'll fi- you almost got me there, guy." Bach pointed at the little bowl left to his plate. "Come on now, I know you've had enough salads with me to grow green fingers, but it's something Essie made and we don't -"

"let food waste", his son finished grumbling. But at least he still remembered, right? How much of his time with Bach was still shared, still fresh in his mind? Did he even view him as his father?

"Or if dessert doesn't sound very exciting.." Which it didn't, in his opinion. "Just don't finish it. I'll finish it for you, I don't have to eat the next three days now."

[wakingwakewood]

The rest of the evening passed as awkwardly as Essie imagined it would. She'd make a comment, wince, he'd reply, wince, repeat. But they managed to keep any open hostility off the proverbial table until after dinner, when Isaac took Bach to show him his room and Essie was left to do the dishes. It gave her time to breathe, time to hope that the evening would stay civil. It helped having half a house between her and Bach.

True to her word, she packed the leftovers up and did the dishes, only calling up once to remind Isaac that it was close to bedtime. She'd let Bach help him if he needed it. Then she just had to wait until it was actually time to tuck him in. God help her, she needed that to go smoothly because she was pretty sure it was going to get ugly when it was just the two of them again.

[bachjones]

Bach was surprised Essie allowed him to be alone with his son, to be honest. What if he'd throw him out of the window and run away from him? She probably had magic for that.

Not that it had gone completely horrible, had it? They hadn't fought in front of Isaac, and it sounded like she wasn't very angry at him either. Just confused, which was ..understandable with the mess Bach always brought in.

"Sing? We can ..sing together?" Isaac offered him a book. "I like this one. Please."
"I don't know, kid. Maybe Essie doesn't feel like singing. I don't want her to feel lef- I can just read it for you?"
Not good enough for his son. With surprising volume, he yelled for her. "I'm going to sleep now!"

[wakingwakewood]

She heard him all the way from the kitchen and she couldn't stop laughing until she got to his bedroom. Leaning in the doorway, she crossed her arms. "Are you? I don't remember reading you a story or singing you a lullaby. And I'm positive I haven't had a hug yet. So you can't be going to sleep."

With Dan behind her, she came in and sat next to him on the bed like it was any other night. Even if it wasn't. "What do we have tonight? A book?"

[bachjones]

The pain in his chest was sudden and absolute. But man, just look at that smile on her face, look at Isaac unfurling and sticking his arms out like she could fit in there. Well, one of them could. This was never going to work out, was it? They'd be the frustrated divorced couple, only without the divorce. "This fu-"

"A book", Isaac replied, maybe louder than necessary. "Dan's favorite. And I like it as well. A lot. And you read better. But daddy sings better", he added with a glance at Bach.

Yeah, thanks kid. That's probably the reason why you exist. Nothing of this daddy loves mommy a lot nonsense, Bach just forgot about the condom because there was easy sex. He rubbed his face. His brain was fucking stupid sometimes. "Good thing both things are good talents", he tried instead, keeping the frustration out of his voice. "Can I listen to Essie reading as well?"

"Yes!" Isaac looked at her, putting his hands on the book again. "Of course?"

[wakingwakewood]

"Okay, story time and then hugs and bed. Scoot over." Just like she did every night, she sat on the bed next to Isaac and let him snuggle into her arms so he could see the pictures. She didn't want to think about what Bach made of that, this wasn't his ritual, it was theirs. It started when he needed her to hold him until he went to sleep so he wouldn't worry that she was going to leave him. Then it was just the thing they did.

Opening the book, she started to read the story, bad voices and all. It was about a little seal that lost his favorite rock and everything ended with a big happy ending. From an adult standpoint, it was kinda boring, but it was filled with beautiful drawings of the sea and sea life and that was why she'd picked it up.

[bachjones]

Bach knew his place. Right now, it wasn't even very hard to enjoy it. Just look at the two of them.

But it was finished all too soon, one more hug, one more kiss, one more piece of a song Isaac could go asleep with. Now the two of them were outside his room - the kid had his own room, clearly his - and Bach made sure to walk away before she could say anything. He wasn't going to have Isaac listen to whatever Essie wanted to throw at him. The other shoe had to drop. It was tempting to walk to her bedroom, but that would probably get him crucified. So down the stairs, to the hall. If she wanted him gone, he wasn't going to be in her way.

[wakingwakewood]

Essie followed Bach out of Isaac's room, pausing only to turn off the light and close the door before heading down the stairs. "Well, I don't know about you, but I could use a drink. Want one before you leave?"

She didn't know if he wanted to stay and talk, she didn't even know if she wanted him to want to stay and talk even though they obviously had a lot to talk about. If he wanted to bail she wouldn't stop him, she'd just give him his leftovers and let him go. At this point, she figured it was his shot to take. He saw that Isaac had a home, he knew she wouldn't just let him waltz off with him, and he saw that Isaac was happy here.

Regardless, the food and the alcohol was in the kitchen so that's where she headed.

[bachjones]

He followed her into the kitchen without a thought. Where Essie went ..no, that was overly dramatic. They needed less drama between the three of them, not more. He could say that, right, three of them? Nothing claiming there?

"It didn't go that bad. I think." He didn't know where to put his hands, where to put himself, and he folded his arms before stepping back against a wall. "You don't need a drink every night, right?" She had said 'could', not need. "I mean, no, never mind. Yes, give me something. The food was good. All that's for me?" He pointed at the containers. "Did you make that much?"

[wakingwakewood]

She gave him a look but didn't comment. Of course she didn't need a drink every night, it just always seemed to come up on the nights she saw him. That should probably be a sign, but she wasn't going to pick at it tonight.

"Yeah, it's for you. Turns out cooking's good for nerves and I was pretty nervous earlier."

[bachjones]

"Nervous?" Why the heck did Bach make her nervous? Or wasn't it about him, didn't she have.. she had to have people over often enough, she was a good person. Friendly and all that stuff. Hot, as well. No, he didn't want her to have people over often. "Thanks. Seriously."

"That was ..it didn't ..it wasn't bad, right?" He definitely had expected worse, breakdowns and fights and Isaac crumpling under the pressure. Maybe there still was something that bounced them back from the edge, maybe? "Of course he caught up on a few things but I'm always told that children have like a seventh sense for things between their pa- caretakers."

[wakingwakewood]

"No, I think it was pretty good actually. Isaac was really glad to see you." She was just glad he wasn't raving anymore. Maybe he got that out of his system earlier and had time tot think things through.

Reaching into the cabinet, she pulled out two glasses. He hadn't said he wanted anything, but he hadn't declined, either so she figured she'd at least pour him something. "So, do you have a plan going forward, have you found a place to stay?"

[bachjones]

"But you weren't? Oh, fuck." Why did he keep doing the talking before thinking thing? "Forget that."

The last time they had shared a drink together hadn't ended well. Nor the time before that, no matter how much fun they've had in between. Maybe Bach needed to start owning up to the fact that he was a divorced guy with no wife but a woman he l- his son loved, completely and clearly, and try to build a life around that. Not just his son, which was what he would have to do anyway, but with the other caretaker.
"I'm still looking around", he murmured. "Not a lot of cheap stuff around here these days."

[wakingwakewood]

"No, I was glad to see you, I just..." Why did he make it so hard all the time? Sighing, Essie turned to face him.

"I'm glad you're here. Isaac's glad you're here. You're his father, you're supposed to be here. And I don't hate you, I... I don't know who you are. I thought I did and you left and we picked up together and now you're back and the first thing you said was that you wanted to take him from me and I... I won't, I can't let you do that."

[bachjones]

"I know. I don't even stand a chance if I'd try, you'd probably have hounds and private detectives on me before I could cross state borders. Although my car is kind of solid, so maybe I could at least outrun the dogs."

He rubbed his face. "This entire thing is just so shit. For Isaac." That's what Bach had to remember, all this was only about Isaac. "And I don't want that, so I'll do whatever to make sure he can't be bothered by it in any way. Make it the closest to normal for him. Loads of kids have divorced parents, why not ..this?" Whatever this was.
"I don't want to sing my way into another place, so I'm sleeping in the car now. I need to find a job, a place to perform. But maybe I can like ..come by in weekends or something? If you can allow that? Because I'm not leaving Isaac. Never again."

[wakingwakewood]

She almost offered him a job again, but stopped. They weren't there, in any kind of place where they could even think about working together. But it was a relief to hear that the situation had sunk in with him. That he couldn't swoop in and take over after everything he'd done.

Damn, that sounded like she was punishing him and that wasn't what she wanted. At least not with Isaac, there was still a piece of her that wanted to hit him upside the head.

"We can work with weekends. And I'll have to go out to California at some point to meet with the board, so you can have him then. If you don't have a place by then, you can probably stay here."

[bachjones]

She really had the complete control of it, didn't she? Bach was led around the nose by a woman again.

He threw back his glass. "Are you going to pass me dollars so I can do fun things with my son on the weekend or am I allowed to take care of that myself? Plenty of good free stuff. And maybe we need to talk about what you're teaching him as well. Right now I don't think there's anything going wrong and at least you're not religious, but some things he just has to hear from a man. After that you can tell him that girls are human too so he doesn't turn into his grandpa or his father. Can I have another drink?"

That probably ruined every chance of staying the night. "We weren't doing badly, together. I did more for him than for myself."

[wakingwakewood]

"I'm not saying you were a bad father, Bach, there's nothing I saw that's ever made me think that." Except for the whole abandonment thing. But now wasn't the time to bring that up again. "My only concern is that we work together for Isaac. When he's with you, you guys can do what you want. But right now even you have to admit, I'm a hell of a lot more stable for him."

Pouring him a second drink, she slid the glass over, not sure it's the best idea, but if it keeps him talking.....

[bachjones]

"And stable is what a kid needs." His words were bitter, but he knew they were the truth. Kids needed some place to root, to fall back on, their safety net. Like, for at least five more years? In puberty they hated anything anyway, right? "I don't want you to leave the country with him. Or any other kind of fancy stuff he'll miss when he's with me. I don't want him to know how poor I am."
What a loser Bach was.

He accepted the second drink, half way in decided that this was too good to empty in one go again. "No comments on what I do, and no new guys around when he's here. I never had one stay over either. He doesn't need that kind of drama." Or to find a better dad than Bach.

[wakingwakewood]

"Do you really think I'd do something like that? Set you up like that?" What did he really think of her? That' she'd just wave her money in front of Isaac to make him look bad? Or to make her look better? Jesus. She wasn't going to deny Isaac any privilege she could get him, but she wasn't going to make him feel ashamed of his father or his background either.

[bachjones]

"I don't think so, I was just saying." Jesus, when did she get so angry so fast. "We're talking this over like adults, right? So we need to make everything clear. No blind spots between the both of us."
Now Bach did empty his glass. "Jesus, that's good stuff. Mind if you pour me another? And I'm not saying that in a domestic way, I can pour myself another one if you rather have that."

[wakingwakewood]

She didn't hide the eyeroll as she poured him another, slowly sipping at her first. "How am I supposed to know with you, Bach, it's not like we've ever exactly sat down and talked about things." An she'd tried, maybe. That night he came over for his booty call, but he made it perfectly clear that she was just a fuck to him and that was what she went with. Or maybe it was just easier to assume to worst with him, since that was what seemed to happen.

"But you want to talk now, that's fine. No sleepovers. No ostentatious financial displays. Got it. But the same goes for you. I know you have your ways to make money and I don't want that around him at all. But when it comes to his education, I think I should be allowed to spend what is needed. If that means private school, you can visit them all with me and help me decide, but I think maybe he'd do really well, especially if we can find one that has experience with siren children." It was a concern she'd started to have, he communicated as much in song as he did in words and if he had any conflicts with other students she didn't know how he'd react. And Bach reacted so strongly to all things siren she wasn't sure Isaac wouldn't end up hating his own kind.

[bachjones]

"Private school?! Isaac?"
She wasn't laughing. She sounded se- she was serious. "Jesus. How's he going to survive there? He can't share his lunch money, everyone else will have at least ten times more than he does. And I don't think there's anything wrong with ordinary places. The time I spent there was kind of like the be- there's nothing wrong with them. Why would he even have to go to a private school? He's not that much of a delicate flower, he's toughening up every time I see him. And he's pretty much still a baby, so who knows what his character is going to be. Right?"

And the siren thing as well? Fuck. He downed his drink and tried to not get angry. "He's never been to any of my shows, nor the other stuff. I get baby sitters for the other stuff." Maybe Bach needed to pick up with Emily again, play boyfriend for a while. Easy money and a roof over his head. "Isn't this place big enough for me to live here without getting in your way?" Hey, if they were talking outrageous things, why not join in? "I can be his siren zen master."

[wakingwakewood]

"If, Bach, I said, if, no decisions have been made. He likes where he is now, I'm not planning on moving him tomorrow. But IF there are problems, it's something to consider." She shook her head, wondering how this always went to shit. "Jesus, can you not go ballistic every time something comes up that you don't like? I feel like I can't make any suggestions without you biting my head off."

How was this supposed to work? How were they supposed to raise Isaac together if they could barely communicate?

[bachjones]

"Ballistic? You call that ballistic? Don't act like a super sensitive flower now, I know you like it -", He needed to a) drop the volume because his kid was trying to sleep and b) really watch his words right now if he didn't want to be turned into a frog. Or whatever witches did, these days.

"I don't want to leave him out of my sight", he tried. "I don't want anything wonderful and outstanding things for him. Just ordinary. Dull. Room for himself to discover who he is and what he wants without a ton of professors and teachers and instructors or whatever to steer him into a direction. Freedom. I want freedom for him."

"Do you mind if I open one of your leftover boxes right now?" Nerves made him hungry.