Home sweet home

[bachjones]

 In the end it had been quicker to get a room mate to get the place over Apples and Eve. The girl was a silly high school student that wanted to experience living on her own before leaving town or something, blabalbla. Nancy was only there like three days a week, but cleaned the living room (her bedroom) and the bathroom better than Bach would or could. 

The important thing was that he had a place of his own. Now he didn't have to hang around the school or the play yard any more to see Isaac, didn't have to come up with all kinds of spots he could bring his own son to. He had a place now. Bed, kitchen, couch, television, everything. Alfred liked it as well, and Bach even got the cat a little pillow of his own. Is Essie didn't approve, she would have to take her rich people goggles off and try again. 

Heck, the place even smelled better than his last one, living over a café. So he had left a few texts with Essie, letting her know that she could come visit for approval any night except for Thursdays (his show nights) and Saturdays (his ho nights). That she was welcome to come for dinner if she'd bring food or would be okay with pasta salad, and that Dan was welcome as well. All very considerate and grown up, right?

"Stairs are at the back of the building", he added last minute. 

 

Comments

[wakingwakewood]

Essie started laughing, she couldn't help herself. "That explains so much. The other day, he walked in and handed me a couple of my antacids and insisted I take them. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why but he was so serious so I just took them anyway." Chuckling, she shook her head, "They have vitamin C in them, there's a giant C on the bottle. That's why he wanted me to take them."

It was possibly the most adorable thing he'd done in a long list of adorable things. He just didn't want her to get sick.

[bachjones]

"Oh. Okay. Guess I should have warned you about that. I still don't know ..." He wasn't hungry any more, he realized, a ball of nerves stuck in his stomach instead. "Maybe we should like do updates a few times a week or something, so neither of us get surprised by things. Although it isn't like vitamins are a super important thing to be told about."

Not that the pasta wasn't good, and with food in his mouth he at least didn't have the chance to say anything stupid.

"He really cares about you", he mumbled from behind a raised hand, his mouth still half full. "I had to explain that Alfred didn't need them. Do cats need vitamins?"

[wakingwakewood]

"Uh, if you want to? I figured if anything really weird came up, I'd just call you." It was something that she hadn't considered, but maybe she should have. Was that something that other separated parents had to do? Like child-care debriefing? God, that sounded awful.

"I care about him, too." She took a deep breath because she was going to say this once and then things were probably going to explode. They always did. "I care about you, too, you know. I hate that every conversation we have ends up in an argument. I don't want that, you know."

[bachjones]

"Pretty sure we have different ideas about anything really weird."

Bach had already opened his mouth to offer a list of suggestions about things they needed to really communicate versus 'we can live without knowing this' when she just barged in with that gem. Was she ever going to make up her mind about how she felt about him? Hadn't they discussed this before, wasn't that why they didn't bring up any more, to prevent arguments? Did she like arguments?

"I know you care about him, a lot." Well, she said she didn't like 'em. And caring about the person you parented a child with was probably super genuine and grown up and considerate. It still felt like a dismissal. Essie cared about Isaac, Essie cared about Dan, Essie cared about Bach. The men in her life that she needed to look out for.

"Your pasta is still better than mine." It was the easiest option, to avoid the minefield of nerves and thoughts. "I don't know what the difference is, though."

[wakingwakewood]

Honestly, ti was probably best that Bach did gloss over what she'd said, it wasn't as if their previous conversations about feelings had gone over well. But dammit, they were stuck with each other, right? She wasn't saying she wanted to date him or anything, but an actual friendship might be useful considering their circumstances. And maybe if they talked about everything, she wouldn't feel like she was crossing a field of emotional landmines every time they saw each other.

But whatever. Maybe they needed some kind of therapy or something. Christ, if this was what divorce felt like, she was never getting married.

"Maybe next time you can cook. Or we can cook together. Figure it out?"

[bachjones]

First the comment about caring and now an invitation to cook together? "Not with Isaac around." Because it wasn't bad if Bach got the wrong idea - hell, his first thought had been to ask if she needed to get laid, but he was getting better with biting his tongue - but he didn't want to hurt the kid. "The cooking. I think it's best if he doesn't see us each other in a way that can give him any wrong ideas. For a while, anyway. Until he understands that we're not a family."

"Eh. Like a normal one. Together. You know what I mean." He really hoped she did. "But cooking, yes, sure, why not." Because he still couldn't deny himself a chance to be close to her. Because there had been a time when they worked together. Without magic even, if he remembered correctly.

"Want me to fill up your glass?"

[wakingwakewood]

Honestly, she disagreed. She thought that Isaac was smarter than Bach was giving him credit for, but she could see where he was coming from. Their entire situation was messy and complicated and shadowed by that time in the curse. But she was certain of one thing and as she pushed her glass over for a top-off (why not, it was going to be that kind of night) she went ahead and damned the consequences, "But we are a family. A really weird and awkward and twisted one, but I've seen worse. At least you're not trying to kill me."

[bachjones]

"What the fuck, Essie!"

The wine slopped over her glasses' rim, like he needed something else to make a mess. What the hell was she on? "At least I'm not trying to kill you?" It was the easiest thing to reply to. "Are there people around Isaac that try to kill each other?"

Because this night wasn't supposed to be about what they were to each other, it was to get her approval for his place, so that Bach could be a parent for Isaac, instead of the fun daddy lazier fathers only desired to be. He was so close to having her out of his system, out of any idea about any future, so why was she cozying up like this? Did witches have a sense for that, weakness in others?

"Let me clean that up." He poured out the remainder before grabbing a wet cloth. Bach was a person who had wet cloths in their kitchen now, he didn't need more drama.

[wakingwakewood]

"It's not-" She shook her hand to get the wine off of it as she grabbed for the napkins. "He's not in danger. No one from that part of the family are anywhere near here. I have them watched." By reliable PIs she paid very well. Damn, the wine had been a bad idea, she shouldn't have said that. But she'd mentioned her family to him, hadn't she? And his father had certainly vetted her and found her safe enough. Not that she'd bring up that bit of information. Mentioning either of Bach's parents was guaranteed to turn this into a disaster.

God, why did this always happen, she just wanted... some kind of relationship with Bach that didn't involve lawyer and negotiations. A friendship. A truce. For Isaac's sake because she knew he could feel the tension whenever they were in the same room. She knew it hurt him every time and it broke her heart. She just wanted to get past all that.

[bachjones]

"I thought your family was like - on the other side of the country. At least. Did they move closer? Did you tell them about Isaac?" He felt worry rise with the scales on his arms, willing them away. He could worry like an ordinary human being. "What ..Christ, this was just supposed to be about approval of this shitty little room I sleep and eat in."

He sat down opposite her, emptying his glass in one go. "Do you want me to reheat your pasta again? It's a bit of a risk, but looking at the way this appointment is going it might be an upgrade if I burn down the kitchen." He remembered to add a smile. "Or just me."

[wakingwakewood]

"They are. Far, far away. I'd know if they came close. I've taken a lot of precautions." Magical and mundane. If anyone of her bloodline came to town, she'd know the moment they stepped across the city limits. However, she won't lie or try to hide the truth. That would only make this bad situation worse. "But if they've taken any of the same against me, they've probably hired someone to see where I am and what I'm doing. So they will have noticed Isaac."

Sticking her fork in the pasta, she noticed it was still warm enough. "It's fine. It hasn't cooled too much. And perhaps you should start to use a gas cook-top, that's mechanical not electrical. Unless you have the same problem?" She really didn't know. But she hadn't had too many problems with Isaac when she used the stove.

[bachjones]

"Fuck." Because that seemed to be the only thing he could say right now. Instead of trying again, he reached for the next bottle of wine, gave himself a full glass. "But he's nothing and no-one to them, right? No blood relations, testament nonsense anything? Nothing for them to worry about?"

How she could jump between subjects like that .."Maybe. I don't know, we always had microwaves. Microwaves are easy as long as they don't explode on you or burn your food.." He looked back. "We do have a stove. I don't know if it's gas though, I'll ask the land lord."

[wakingwakewood]

"I... honestly, I can't guess what they think of him. If they know he's part siren, and that's a pretty big if because we don't talk about it with strangers and he hasn't had any... incidents in public, if they find out he's a siren, they might have a problem with that." Essie paused, running a finger along the rim of her wine glass before downing the remainder. He had to know, it was only fair. "But honestly, siren or not, I love him. And if they come for me, I can see them maybe doing it through him. That's why I've done so much to make sure they don't."

Hell, she'd sell all her shares in the company, give up everything to protect him. Without a second thought. And be glad for it.

[bachjones]

"So I'm the safe parent between the two of us now." He rubbed his neck. If he didn't know how much of a fight she'd put up, he'd take that as an excuse and have Isaac with him before she'd notice. Cut all ties, have him be safe again. The both of them.

"Tonight was just supposed to be a check up", he repeated, because every other subject only seemed to grow the ball of nerves inside of his stomach. "I don't know what you're doing, and I know it's not the wine, but it's seriously freaking me out."

[wakingwakewood]

"He's not unsafe with me, Bach, I've taken precautions." Precautions thoroughly vetted by his kinda asshole-ish father, no less. Not that she'd even mention that one in passing. Not while things were already tense. "Hell, if you want the list, I'll give it."

Tapping her finger on the table, she tried to keep her temper in the face of Bach's sudden hostility. she tried to understand it, she really did, but he never saw anything in her but the bad and she was getting fucking tired of it. "I'm trying to be your friend. To be honest and open so maybe we can try trusting each other again. To build some kind of relationship with you that doesn't begin and end with suspicion so someday we can be in the same room with Isaac without having to bite our tongues clean through."

[bachjones]

"List of precautions? Poor guy. Are you sure Isaac can live a normal life with you?"

"I don't think I have anything that starts or end with suspicion towards you." Bach wasn't lying. He knew Essie would do her best for Isaac, they just didn't completely agree with that was and if it included Bach. And not doing like that, that turned out to have been the most stupid mistake of the past in possible humanity. According to her, he had always enjoyed it. She was good, creative, enthusiastic, and if either of them would suffer a brain transplant or memory loss, he'd get back to it straight away. But probably thinking of sex was enough to make her angry.

"I think we have been pretty cordial." Another word he had picked up on the playground, mothers discussing divorces. He hoped he was using it the correct way. "But you have to admit that you have been pretty hostile towards me, so this softening up thing.. that's what I'm a little bit suspicious about."

[wakingwakewood]

Now she rolled her eyes a bit. "Can you blame me? Dammit, Bach, it wasn't just Isaac you walked out on. I know things weren't great between us, but I missed you. I worried about you, not just for Isaac's sake. You were a weird part of my life, but you were part of it." Which was a harder admission to make than she realized. Whatever she and Bach had, it had been important to her. And that loss had hurt, personally. He meant something to her and he cast her aside just as much as Isaac. And kids were much quicker to forgive than adults were.

"So yeah, I was angry, because you acted like you could come back and pretend nothing happened after I rearranged my entire life. Happily rearranged, because I love Isaac, but still. Did you ever stop to think that Isaac wasn't the only one crying himself to sleep for awhile?"

[bachjones]

"You cried yourself to sleep?" Essie didn't seem the type for that. "Over me?" Bach wasn't worth that, and he wasn't even going to try hiding all of his surprise. "I thought we had decided that all of it had been magic messing up with us and that we should drop the sex thing because of Isaac being between us now."

He wanted to move very carefully here, because he still didn't know if this was good news or bad news for him. If she was going to break down and try to keep Isaac for him, or hit him, or jump him. It was all up in the air and Bach didn't do well with things up in the air.

"I'm sorry", he tried. "I thought I was doing the right thing. For Isaac. For you?"

[wakingwakewood]

"Well, you were wrong. Dead wrong. And darn right I cried." She fiddled with the wineglass, her appetite completely disappeared for the moment. She really didn't like to think about those days. While he'd been there, maybe there had been something in the back of her head, something that held onto the fairy tale even though he'd made it perfectly clear he'd just been there for the sex.

"You were still my friend, Bach, and I felt abandoned, too. And confused because I didn't get it. You loved Isaac more than anything, I knew that, I don't understand how you could walk away from that. I still don't. Not entirely. It felt like it came out of nowhere. You guys were doing pretty good and then suddenly you're dropping him on my doorstep and taking off."

[bachjones]

There was just a very small part of him that liked that she had cried over him, the rest of him just wanted to explain to her that he was so absolutely not worth it, that her life right now was better just for the fact that he wasn't around full time. It was surprisingly silly romantic about this, and maybe it was just her age that made her feel like the big gestures were desirable, instead of the promise of a big mess in your future.

Mostly it hurt. Bach knew that he would never have what he thought he had when under a spell, but Essie needed to ..he shouldn't have to be more part of her life than Isaac's dad.

"I didn't want to make my father's mistake so I just made it, just a bit later than he did." There was no explanation. Self hate? Not trusting himself? All so very dramatic. "I felt that you were his best chance. Without the magic history together, even. But I'm sorry that it made you feel so bad. That I</> made you feel so bad."

[wakingwakewood]

"I wish you'd just have talked to me. Before. We could have... worked something out. Running?" She took a drink, trying to decide exactly how much she'd had and if she could take having some more. Probably a bad idea with as vulnerable she was feeling at the moment.

"Running never works. Even when it does. When I lost my parents... Grandy took me and ran. Kept me away from everything that tied me to past. I don't blame him for it, I forgave him a long time ago, but it wasn't until recently that I knew I had any family that wasn't an automatic threat." Which is what had brought her to Siren Cove in the first place. "Family was bad. And I know it's not the same thing, I know it isn't, but it left its own scars. Isaac's pretty much forgiven you now, so have I, for what it's worth, but it doesn't mean we won't always worry... back of our head stuff, that maybe you'll do it again."

[bachjones]

"Talk?" That made him laugh, he couldn't help it. Did she call this talking, him stuttering and stumbling through all the things he had fucked up and all the things he was wrong in? Wasn't that what shrinks did? Bach just wanted to make Essie feel less bad whenever it was related to him and Isaac. Because they were both doing this for Isaac, that was the only thing for sure.

"I know you will hunt me down and castrate me if I would." Because yes, running was always an option. It was easier. Cleaner. "But it isn't good for Isaac. That's .." He exhaled. "It's so weird, all the things I feel for him, you know? And they just keep on coming. It's not like you're suddenly done, like with other people. It's just ..always going and growing."

[wakingwakewood]

"Yeah, I know." And she did. Every day it felt like there was something new to love. Listening to him plink at the keys on the piano, practicing with the tutor she'd hired, the way he'd laugh at something Dan did. She got that feeling as much as Bach did. And it freaked her out, too, but she pretended it didn't because she was supposed to be the person who had everything together. She had to be since he hadn't.

"But you're doing a pretty good job of talking now. So that's something?" She hoped. She really hoped it was something because she didn't think she could take backsliding again. She was too emotionally raw, she wanted this to work, whatever bridge they were building and if he pulled his head out of his siren ass he'd probably feel it. She needed... well, she didn't exactly know what she needed, but it probably involved the tow of them being able to have civil conversations like this on a more ongoing basis. At least to start. The rest? Would take care of itself, or she hoped it would.

[bachjones]

He folded his arms across his chest. "Aren't we done talking then, by now?" Because Bach felt very out-balanced, way too close to a risky mess of emotions and over sharing.

"We could just finish our meal. I have an ice cream cake for dessert. If we leave a bit, I can use it to get Isaac to do dishes without using any threats towards Alfred. For a siren bastard you'd think he wouldn't mind getting his hands wet so much, but he's always complaining about the soap and foam." It was the safest subject he could come up with. "And I'm not super rude and violent in my threats, of course."

[wakingwakewood]

Aaaand there it was. The closing off part of this evening's festivities. All the walls, just when she thought she was making progress. She resisted the urge to sigh and cite her disappointment, and instead just nodded, taking a bit of pasta, not really tasting it. At this point, it was just something to do to keep from doing something stupider like slapping him, and then maybe kissing him. God, but part of her wanted something stupid tonight. But she was calling it stupid for a reason, so it was smile and nod and eat.

"It tickles. He does the same thing in the bath when I wash his hair."