Home sweet home

[bachjones]

 In the end it had been quicker to get a room mate to get the place over Apples and Eve. The girl was a silly high school student that wanted to experience living on her own before leaving town or something, blabalbla. Nancy was only there like three days a week, but cleaned the living room (her bedroom) and the bathroom better than Bach would or could. 

The important thing was that he had a place of his own. Now he didn't have to hang around the school or the play yard any more to see Isaac, didn't have to come up with all kinds of spots he could bring his own son to. He had a place now. Bed, kitchen, couch, television, everything. Alfred liked it as well, and Bach even got the cat a little pillow of his own. Is Essie didn't approve, she would have to take her rich people goggles off and try again. 

Heck, the place even smelled better than his last one, living over a café. So he had left a few texts with Essie, letting her know that she could come visit for approval any night except for Thursdays (his show nights) and Saturdays (his ho nights). That she was welcome to come for dinner if she'd bring food or would be okay with pasta salad, and that Dan was welcome as well. All very considerate and grown up, right?

"Stairs are at the back of the building", he added last minute. 

 

Comments

[wakingwakewood]

"He's not unsafe with me, Bach, I've taken precautions." Precautions thoroughly vetted by his kinda asshole-ish father, no less. Not that she'd even mention that one in passing. Not while things were already tense. "Hell, if you want the list, I'll give it."

Tapping her finger on the table, she tried to keep her temper in the face of Bach's sudden hostility. she tried to understand it, she really did, but he never saw anything in her but the bad and she was getting fucking tired of it. "I'm trying to be your friend. To be honest and open so maybe we can try trusting each other again. To build some kind of relationship with you that doesn't begin and end with suspicion so someday we can be in the same room with Isaac without having to bite our tongues clean through."

[bachjones]

"List of precautions? Poor guy. Are you sure Isaac can live a normal life with you?"

"I don't think I have anything that starts or end with suspicion towards you." Bach wasn't lying. He knew Essie would do her best for Isaac, they just didn't completely agree with that was and if it included Bach. And not doing like that, that turned out to have been the most stupid mistake of the past in possible humanity. According to her, he had always enjoyed it. She was good, creative, enthusiastic, and if either of them would suffer a brain transplant or memory loss, he'd get back to it straight away. But probably thinking of sex was enough to make her angry.

"I think we have been pretty cordial." Another word he had picked up on the playground, mothers discussing divorces. He hoped he was using it the correct way. "But you have to admit that you have been pretty hostile towards me, so this softening up thing.. that's what I'm a little bit suspicious about."

[wakingwakewood]

Now she rolled her eyes a bit. "Can you blame me? Dammit, Bach, it wasn't just Isaac you walked out on. I know things weren't great between us, but I missed you. I worried about you, not just for Isaac's sake. You were a weird part of my life, but you were part of it." Which was a harder admission to make than she realized. Whatever she and Bach had, it had been important to her. And that loss had hurt, personally. He meant something to her and he cast her aside just as much as Isaac. And kids were much quicker to forgive than adults were.

"So yeah, I was angry, because you acted like you could come back and pretend nothing happened after I rearranged my entire life. Happily rearranged, because I love Isaac, but still. Did you ever stop to think that Isaac wasn't the only one crying himself to sleep for awhile?"

[bachjones]

"You cried yourself to sleep?" Essie didn't seem the type for that. "Over me?" Bach wasn't worth that, and he wasn't even going to try hiding all of his surprise. "I thought we had decided that all of it had been magic messing up with us and that we should drop the sex thing because of Isaac being between us now."

He wanted to move very carefully here, because he still didn't know if this was good news or bad news for him. If she was going to break down and try to keep Isaac for him, or hit him, or jump him. It was all up in the air and Bach didn't do well with things up in the air.

"I'm sorry", he tried. "I thought I was doing the right thing. For Isaac. For you?"

[wakingwakewood]

"Well, you were wrong. Dead wrong. And darn right I cried." She fiddled with the wineglass, her appetite completely disappeared for the moment. She really didn't like to think about those days. While he'd been there, maybe there had been something in the back of her head, something that held onto the fairy tale even though he'd made it perfectly clear he'd just been there for the sex.

"You were still my friend, Bach, and I felt abandoned, too. And confused because I didn't get it. You loved Isaac more than anything, I knew that, I don't understand how you could walk away from that. I still don't. Not entirely. It felt like it came out of nowhere. You guys were doing pretty good and then suddenly you're dropping him on my doorstep and taking off."

[bachjones]

There was just a very small part of him that liked that she had cried over him, the rest of him just wanted to explain to her that he was so absolutely not worth it, that her life right now was better just for the fact that he wasn't around full time. It was surprisingly silly romantic about this, and maybe it was just her age that made her feel like the big gestures were desirable, instead of the promise of a big mess in your future.

Mostly it hurt. Bach knew that he would never have what he thought he had when under a spell, but Essie needed to ..he shouldn't have to be more part of her life than Isaac's dad.

"I didn't want to make my father's mistake so I just made it, just a bit later than he did." There was no explanation. Self hate? Not trusting himself? All so very dramatic. "I felt that you were his best chance. Without the magic history together, even. But I'm sorry that it made you feel so bad. That I</> made you feel so bad."

[wakingwakewood]

"I wish you'd just have talked to me. Before. We could have... worked something out. Running?" She took a drink, trying to decide exactly how much she'd had and if she could take having some more. Probably a bad idea with as vulnerable she was feeling at the moment.

"Running never works. Even when it does. When I lost my parents... Grandy took me and ran. Kept me away from everything that tied me to past. I don't blame him for it, I forgave him a long time ago, but it wasn't until recently that I knew I had any family that wasn't an automatic threat." Which is what had brought her to Siren Cove in the first place. "Family was bad. And I know it's not the same thing, I know it isn't, but it left its own scars. Isaac's pretty much forgiven you now, so have I, for what it's worth, but it doesn't mean we won't always worry... back of our head stuff, that maybe you'll do it again."

[bachjones]

"Talk?" That made him laugh, he couldn't help it. Did she call this talking, him stuttering and stumbling through all the things he had fucked up and all the things he was wrong in? Wasn't that what shrinks did? Bach just wanted to make Essie feel less bad whenever it was related to him and Isaac. Because they were both doing this for Isaac, that was the only thing for sure.

"I know you will hunt me down and castrate me if I would." Because yes, running was always an option. It was easier. Cleaner. "But it isn't good for Isaac. That's .." He exhaled. "It's so weird, all the things I feel for him, you know? And they just keep on coming. It's not like you're suddenly done, like with other people. It's just ..always going and growing."

[wakingwakewood]

"Yeah, I know." And she did. Every day it felt like there was something new to love. Listening to him plink at the keys on the piano, practicing with the tutor she'd hired, the way he'd laugh at something Dan did. She got that feeling as much as Bach did. And it freaked her out, too, but she pretended it didn't because she was supposed to be the person who had everything together. She had to be since he hadn't.

"But you're doing a pretty good job of talking now. So that's something?" She hoped. She really hoped it was something because she didn't think she could take backsliding again. She was too emotionally raw, she wanted this to work, whatever bridge they were building and if he pulled his head out of his siren ass he'd probably feel it. She needed... well, she didn't exactly know what she needed, but it probably involved the tow of them being able to have civil conversations like this on a more ongoing basis. At least to start. The rest? Would take care of itself, or she hoped it would.

[bachjones]

He folded his arms across his chest. "Aren't we done talking then, by now?" Because Bach felt very out-balanced, way too close to a risky mess of emotions and over sharing.

"We could just finish our meal. I have an ice cream cake for dessert. If we leave a bit, I can use it to get Isaac to do dishes without using any threats towards Alfred. For a siren bastard you'd think he wouldn't mind getting his hands wet so much, but he's always complaining about the soap and foam." It was the safest subject he could come up with. "And I'm not super rude and violent in my threats, of course."

[wakingwakewood]

Aaaand there it was. The closing off part of this evening's festivities. All the walls, just when she thought she was making progress. She resisted the urge to sigh and cite her disappointment, and instead just nodded, taking a bit of pasta, not really tasting it. At this point, it was just something to do to keep from doing something stupider like slapping him, and then maybe kissing him. God, but part of her wanted something stupid tonight. But she was calling it stupid for a reason, so it was smile and nod and eat.

"It tickles. He does the same thing in the bath when I wash his hair."

[bachjones]

"tickles? Why did he never tell me? Don't answer that question, I know people never tell me anything for a reason."

And suddenly her song was so low and defused that if she wouldn't be there on front of him, Bach would think Essie had fainted. What had he done wrong now? "You're not going to fall asleep on me, are you? You didn't have that much wine. I think."

"And I'm sure my bed's below your standards."

[wakingwakewood]

"Took me forever to get him to tell me. I had to resort to bribery." Pulling the wine glass to her lips, Essie choked when he mentioned his bed. She was sure he meant just for her, but with the wine and the fact that they'd gotten so close to making some kind of connection, she could feel her cheeks go scarlet red. There were just too many memories of what Bach could do in a bed and not all of them were from fairy-tale land.

"I'm... um... I just..." God, she couldn't even speak.

[bachjones]

"Are you drunk? No need to be ashamed about that." The small, always wrong part of him insisted that this was an invitation, but Bach ignored it. He always got sex related things wrong with Essie. Or even bed related ones.

"I don't think I said something wrong.." Bach pushed his plate aside, grabbed the bowl from her. "Maybe you've had enough? If that's a decision I'm allowed to make for you. I don't want to clean up barf."

[wakingwakewood]

"I'm not drunk, Bach, just... didn't think tonight was gonna end with you inviting me to bed." Which was probably dead-last on the list of things she thought would happen. Even in a non-sexual way, it had just thrown her. Why? She really couldn't say. Crazier, she wasn't sure what she'd say if he actually hit on her right now. She'd been so focused on Isaac and her job and keeping hers and Bach's family at bay she hadn't had a chance for anything else. Hell, she hadn't even gone out since taking in Isaac, she was practically a nun these days and that wasn't really normal for her.

Did she still want him? Even if she did, she knew it was probably a bad idea. Actually a Bad Idea, capital letters and all.

[bachjones]

"I didn'-"

The small, always wrong part of him pushed towards taking her words and turning them into his favor, because that was pretty much a written invitation Essie just gave, hadn't she?

"Want me to bring you home?" There, he could be the adult, sensible one. Bach was stupid proud about how the night had gone, how pleased Isaac would be to know they talked and didn't do anything else (like, fight, not that he would let anything else be picked up by the kid), and he wasn't going to fuck up now. "With the car, I mean. Or walk, if you don't trust my driving. Although you've never sat in a car with me before." Only other things.

"But my place is Isaac-proof, right? That was what this night was about. Mostly."