Night, special night

[bachjones]

Bach was at Essie's, even though it was Friday night and he always spent that at his own place. If he was going to be honest, these days his place was more of a stock room, the small apartment he threatened Isaac to lock up if he was in a particularly foul mood. But to admit that he was practically living at Essie's, living off her ...

He was being grumpy about this because he didn't want to think about talking to her tonight about the tour. It was super tiny, she'd barely notice he'd be gone, but he could have probably told her sooner. And Isaac as well, but Isaac couldn't keep a secret, even though he was growing into that pre-puberty phase that made him try. It wasn't like three weeks was that bad, anyway, right?

The ring in his back pocket was burning a hole in it, but Bach had been long enough with Essie that he knew that tonight wasn't the best timing for it. That distracting her from a fact would only make her angrier about it. 

He inhaled, exhaled and knocked on the door with his wrist, his hands full with groceries. "Here's the food dude! Open up, please!" 

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[wakingwakewood]

Essie had long since stopped trying to define her little family. Bach was there more than he wasn't, in her bed more often than the room they'd all just decided was "his" for whatever that meant. Bach lived there... until he didn't. Until whatever circuit in his head flashed on and those old walls went up, putting distance between him and her. Some mornings, usually lazy mornings after a night of really good sex, mornings Dan and Isaac puttered around on their own, letting them stay in, she could almost imagine it was real. And other mornings? It was like they were roommates. Who were raising an amazing kid and occasionally (okay, maybe often) having sex.

It galled sometimes. Part of her wanted more, wanted a real life with a solid foundation under their feet, but she'd long since stopped bringing it up. The fights had gotten to... tiresome. It wasn't a bad life and she loved him, whether she'd admit it or not for fear he'd run. But she just never knew exactly where she stood with him.

Kind of like now. It was Friday. Bach almost never stayed over on Friday's. But he'd texted saying he was coming over with food for dinner so Essie made sure Isaac's homework was done and Dan was walked and she waited. And when he arrived, she opened the door, taking a bag or two to help balance the load. "Dude, I thought you said you were bringing dinner, not dinner a few lunches and maybe brunch. Get in here."

[bachjones]

"You sound happy with my offerings." He leaned in to kiss her forehead. "Hi, Essie. Tonight was okay, right? I just wanted to get this over with before the weekend." Oh, yes, good one, start out with the explosion right away. "Maybe I was hoping for a sleepover that means we're going to need a lot of snacks and breakfast for three almost grown people."

Isaac was almost a teenager. Which made Bach almost ancient, which made him wonder why Essie was still sticking around. He had tried to listen to anything that could tell him differently, but either he was just too used to how she sounded like or she had learned a way to cover secrets up. Nah, he was just thinking things, right? Essie wasn't the cheating type. There was his mind going again, for the worst possibilities. "Did Isaac finish his homework already? I brought that weird Oreo ice cream he loves, but not telling him if his homework isn't finished yet."

[wakingwakewood]

Get this over with? Get what over with? Essie wanted to follow up on that because of all the phrases that would put her on edge, that was right up there with we need to talk because neither boded well for a pleasant evening. But before she could say anything, she heard Isaac coming down the stairs, the heavy thud of Dan right behind him. Whatever it was would have to wait.

So she ushered Bach inside with a slightly less-enthusiastic smile that the one she'd opened the door with and waved away his concern with being there on a Friday night. Honestly, she wondered why he kept a separate apartment in the first place but that was neither here nor there. As Isaac ran up, she looked down at him, something she knew she would only be able to do for another few years, and widened her smile into a more genuine one, "Since your homework's already done, Daddy brought you a treat."

[bachjones]

"Isaac!" Bach heard the welcome, so he took it as an invitation to pull him against him with his free arm and squeeze his side. "Hey man, cool homework today? Something I'd wanna learn as well?" He had got his high school diploma two years ago, and was now working on some separate classes at the nearby community col- "Shit." If he was going to be away for three weeks, he was going to be skipping classes three weeks. How was he going to fix that?

"Curse jar!" Isaac yelled before wriggling free. "Is it my ice cream, can I have it now? I'm hungry. Essie never lets me eat."

"So close to dinner.", Bach finished the sentence for him. This sometimes happened now, Isaac trying to play them against each other, just not getting that it worked better if the other one wasn't around. This just made Bach smile, and he looked at her to share the 'this kid, hey?' glance he loved to see in her eyes.

[wakingwakewood]

She knew, instinctively, with the experience of their years together, that Bach was probably looking at her, but the phrase was still stuck in her head. ,i>Get this over with. She thought things were good, they had been good, hadn't they? Their family certainly wasn't what she'd call conventional, but for the last few years it had worked. They hadn't even argued recently, not like they used to, stepping all over each other's feelings like they didn't exist. Or existed only in a vacuum.

But with Isaac trying to charm and/or guilt his way into dessert before dinner, she wouldn't let herself think about it. Whatever it was, it would happen after dinner, so she turned and returned Bach's look with one of her own that clearly said, Don't look at me, he gets it from you.

"Dessert comes after dinner and if m'lad protests too much, it will also come after the piano rehearsal time you promised to do tonight so you could skip your lesson tomorrow to go to that movie you wanted to see. Remember that, kiddo?" Which was convenient, as Isaac lost himself in his rehearsals so completely, she and Bach could talk without being interrupted for... however long it took, she supposed.

[bachjones]

Okay, she had definitely heard the wrong comment and Bach had to go out of his way to take her mind off it. "Piano rehearsal? That's definitely that has to happen, and what film? With who? With you?" Had he missed that on the shared schedule?

They moved to the kitchen, because he had learned enough not to repeat the ice cream in your grocery bags - ice cream stains on your everything mistake. He had learned, so why the frick had he worried Essie like that? And - seriously, seriously, he had to clean up the ring thing as well. Prepare, instead of just waiting for a Moment. Was he nervous? Yes, he was, and everyone in his family had a sixth sense for that, so he had to cut it out.

"Dad." Isaac helped putting the groceries away, which was a toss up these days.
"You heard your mother, you're not getting ice cream before dinner."
"You didn't listen when I talked about Paddington. The movie."
Shit. "Sorry, dude. That's the bear, right? Sounds like fun. I'm sorry, I was thinking about dinner. Did the two of you planned anything already?"

[wakingwakewood]

"Not really, you said you'd bring food so we were going to wait and see what you came up with." For her part, Essie, too, started putting away groceries, falling into the regular rhythm of the kitchen. It was one of the many things that had felt so odd in the beginning, the three of them, puttering around her big kitchen, just doing... things. But now, she wouldn't trade it. Too many memories of family dinners, impromptu concerts, and cooking lessons for all of them.

"Maybe after the movie we can go to the museum or something? Maybe the park?"

[bachjones]

"Okay. Alright. I saw wraps, because we had fun with Mexican food the other week, right? So we can make our own burritos. Or tortillas, I think. I have beef and chicken so we can make all kind of fillings." This was as close as Bach was going to get to admitting that he enjoyed cooking.

"Do you have cheese?" Isaac pulled his step ladder over so he could get plates. "Can I make quesedillas? And the park? We can frisbee. I'm getting good."
Last week he was getting good at juggling. "If Essie's okay with it, Isaac. You want to mash up the avocados?" He wanted to get closer to Essie, touch her, show her it was all fine.

[wakingwakewood]

"Sounds like a plan. Kiddo, when you're done with the plates wash your hands and get your stool so you can help." She tried to include Isaac in as many household-y type things as possible, save the magical ones. And it turned out he wasn't that bad of an assistant once she was sure he wouldn't accidentally cut himself. Bach, too, once he'd stopped being afraid he was going to blow up the kitchen. Since she wasn't a musician, it was one of the things they could really experiment with together. It made her feel centered in a way she'd never felt, even in her own childhood and now it helped calm the sudden and possibly irrational fright she'd gotten.

"I can start on the beef and/or chicken, if you want to do the rest of the veggies?" She looked over at Bach, figuring he'd be fine with something as simple as dicing onions, tomatoes, limes and whatever else they were throwing into the meal.

[bachjones]

"Sure." He handed her the packages, squeezing her hands before letting go. "And how was everyone's day?"

This was the rhythm in which they should be. Bach helped Isaac set up his own spot before getting the vegetables out. Maybe he should visit on Fridays more often, with always a big, fancy self made dinner or something. He could tell Essie that she could work later or have some time of her own. Throughout the week it was usually her that took care of everything, after all, Bach just showed up sometimes with take out or whatever was left at Apples & Eve. "Do we need some Mexican music right now?"

[wakingwakewood]

"I think that would be amazing." The brief reassurance of his hands on hers had done a lot to settle her nerves. She was overreacting, she knew, it had been years and he'd shown no sign of anything wrong. Well, no significant sign. He'd been a little... off lately, but everyone had periods of off-ness. She had her own from time to time.

Making dinner went fine, everyone chatting about their days, Essie left most of the day-to-day at the shop up to her manager so she could be home when Isaac was done with school, but she also got regular reports from Wakewood Holdings as she'd started assuming more and more of a role in her family's company. Dinner itself was actually fun as they all had something a little different on their plates and shared (but not with Dan no matter how hard he stared at them all). And after, Isaac disappeared into the living room, the sounds of the piano winding through the house as he practiced. Which just left dishes... and whatever it was he'd wanted to discuss when he opened the door.

[bachjones]

Bach loved this. So ordinary, so awesome to have the people he loved the most moving comfortably around him. He had probably overreacted, the tour was good news, something fun. Maybe they could even come see him in the town closest by? Other side of the state wasn't that far away. ..

He filled the sink for the fragile stuff before loading up the dishwasher. "So. I've got news. Something I'm kinda happy about, maybe I should have told you sooner, but I've been so busy taking care of everything." He patted his back pocket, a weird tic he had developed ever since he had had the ring made. For luck, maybe.

"I'm going on a three weeks tour. Corry knew some people, I've been sending some stuff out.. nothing big, no plazas, just live music nights at different places around the state and a few in the next. It's not even three weeks, just eighteen days. I'll tell Isaac, of course. He and Dan can be the man of the house."

[wakingwakewood]

It isn't what Essie feared the most, but it was still a shock. "Wait, you're - what? When? When did this happen?" And why was she just hearing about it now? Had he been hiding it from her intentionally or, more likely, did he just not think?

She ran her hands through her hair, trying to figure out how not to sound like an asshole. "I mean, this is great news, you've been wanting to do more, but... did you even think to talk to me before agreeing to this? What if I have to go to California for a Holdings board meeting or something?"

[bachjones]

This was a pretty good reception, right? She asked some questions, but that's just what Essie did. And maybe she had a bit of a point about the California thing, but it wasn't like there wasn't money for a babysitter, or she could just skip once. It didn't happen that often, right? And she was the boss of the place, Bach was sure she could skip whenever she wanted.

"It happened pretty fast, to be honest. I think we were on it for like ..a month? The ball just started rolling and I was up for it. It's been ages since I had good fun with playing and being on the stage. Like, the kind where people show up for you, instead of you just being wallpaper. I just had to say yes, or miss my chances. And you know I'm happier when I don't miss chances."

He swallowed. "And maybe I just wanted to make sure that it was all going to happen before telling. We're leaving next Friday."

[wakingwakewood]

"A month?!" She could almost understand if the whole thing had come together over a week, but this has been a possibility for a month and she was just now hearing about it? Just when she thought they had gotten to a point where they were sharing their lives. She'd lost count of the number of times he'd listened to her talk about her work with Wakewood Holdings, how she didn't want to get sucked into her family business, but wasn't willing to sell out. He knew about every trip as soon as she did, and sometimes before the trips were even set.

Apparently he didn't feel the same about sharing his life? She shot a quick look over her shoulder at the hall, where she could still hear Isaac playing. "Would it have killed you to say, 'Hey, we're working on a maybe tour thing in the next couple of weeks'?"

[bachjones]

"... I didn't know how you were going to react to it." Like this wasn't the way he had wanted to. It was another week before he left, Essie could be less surprised? It wasn't like Bach ever had plans, that was all her. "And maybe I just got a bit ...swept away by it. Writing new stuff, jamming with the group. I'll even have a girl singing with me, at a few dates. It's a lot to prepare for."

"Es ... I didn't keep my mouth shut about it on purpose. Honestly, it just crept up on me that you guys weren't in the know and that I still had to share it with you. And Isaac. I didn't want him to get any ideas about joining me or following me around, and I thought if I would just like .. cut it short? he would know that there was no wriggle room. You know how he can wriggle." He rubbed his face. "Now you say it like that, you make me feel bad about it. I just thought like ...not to bother the two of you with it. Give you some time off?"

[wakingwakewood]

"I can't speak for Isaac, but it would have been nice to have time to be happy for you." And she was, happy for him. This was a good thing, and as stressful as it might be if he starts touring more, she knows how important this could be for him. It's just so frustrating to not have time to work through what were swiftly becoming some very complicated feelings about the situation.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to react to all of this, Bach. I thought we were past tiptoeing around everything. I thought we'd made this thing here, this life, where we shared things, and now I know you've had this in the background for weeks. And I know you didn't mean it like that, but you did it all the same."

[bachjones]

"What, no! No! I haven't been 'tiptoeing', I was busy, you were busy, and Isaac is right now in this vibe that you don't know if he'll be helpful or in your way. No, du- come on. I wasn't hiding things from you." Just the comment made Bach nauseous. He didn't do that stuff anymore. Except with - you know - but that was the one thing you had to hide from the person you loved until you did the asking thing.

"You know how the longer something takes, how harder it is to bring it up?" She probably didn't, Essie probably never had this problem. "It's - I'm fighting the habit, okay? You know how I don't keep any of my plans about Isaac's presents anymore a secret, right? That was annoying to give up, but I did because I know I can share anything with you anyway. You know that I know that, right?" Bach didn't like how weak his voice sounded here.

[wakingwakewood]

"I know, I do know that. And you've been so much better about it, I guess I didn't anticipate it happening again. I'm just... surprised. I need to... process it, I guess?" Essie ran her fingers through her hair, it was getting super long again, she'd need to get it cut, but that was neither here nor there. So to give herself something to do, she went back to the dishes.

"I am happy for you, though, and I'll cover what you need covered. Are there going to be an recordings along the way, to go along with the tour?" She could focus on the good things, it would help settle the shock. The more she poked at the emotion, there wasn't any real anger (well, maybe a little) just the shock and fear. She didn't want to think that everything wonderful they had would go away, but it was still hard sometimes. Years had passed, but she still remembered how it felt when he took off on them and it wasn't fair to hold it against him, but wasn't hard to trigger that feeling, either.

Maybe she really should consider therapy. Lord, where does a witch find a shrink in Siren Cove. Had to be easier than other places, but still?

[bachjones]

Bach was an asshole. An asshole who didn't even know if he should offer to help with the dishes or give her the space she might need. How had she become harder to read after all these years together, shouldn't he know absolutely everything about her by now?

"I love you so much." That was just a dumb decision. "I mean - I'm not, I'm not saying that to - it's just. I-" He rubbed his face. She probably thought he was trying to distract her. "Never mind, I'll just - I'm going to, I'm going to tell Isaac, let him take it out on me, make sure he knows you didn't know before either. Okay?"

[wakingwakewood]

"Hey," she turned away from the dishes, drying her hands before she reached out to touch his face. "I'm not angry, I don't think Isaac will be either, I just wish we'd had a little more time." She gave him a smile and rose up to give him a light kiss on the cheek. "Go talk to junior, maybe let him play that piece he's been working on for his recital for you, the rest of this... we'll figure it out." They had to, after everything it would be a damn shame if they backslid into the abyss they'd been in a few years ago. They'd all worked too hard for their happiness.

Smirking, she went back to the dishes, "But we are going to have a chat about groupies before you go, mister."

[bachjones]

"You worry about groupies?" Bach thought he could see that as a huge compliment on how much she liked him, but it was probably a warning that she didn't completely trust him. Hell, he'd told her he loved her and she kissed his cheek like a granny.

"I'll be back before you know it!" This was more about the tour than him and Isaac, Bach was maybe a bit nervous about his son was going to react to this news. Should he offer to leave for the night? He wasn't sure what kind of reaction he had expected, but this felt almost ..too easy?

Isaac barely let him finish before running into the kitchen and asking Essie if it was true what Bach had told him, if he'd ever come back and if Isaac should go with him to make sure that they'd come back at the end of every week. He was half angry, half excited by the idea of so much music. "Is this for my birthday?"
".. your birthday isn't for another four months, dude. And you're going to have to go to school, I'm going to go to far away for you to come back every day."
"But you're going to come back." He sided with Essie. "He's going to come back. Dad."
"Of course!" Okay, they really had to let that stuff go sometimes. "It's like ...you'll only notice me gone when I'm not at the dinner table. Easily."

[wakingwakewood]

"Hey, easy there." Essie walks over and puts her arm around Isaac. "Slow your roll, kiddo. He'll come back at the end of the tour, it's like a long sleepover he's going on. And at the end he'll have all kinds of stories, and new songs to teach you. And I bet if you ask nice, Dad'll take his camera and take you a ton of pictures. Bedtime stories for weeks."

She puts as much trust and enthusiasm as she can into her expression and his voice. She wants Isaac to be happy about this, for Bach, for her, for all of them. They had to trust this. She does.

[bachjones]

"Yeah, yes, totally! Good idea, camera. Good idea, Essie." She was comforting him, while he should have been the one in charge on this. "And so much music, Isaac. Do you want to the one song I want to open with? It's about your mo- it's about Essie." Bach kept his eyes on Isaac's. "I'm sure you can get out of anything if you'd play it for her."

Isaac didn't sound completely on board yet, hugging Essie's side. "Was it a surprise?"
What was? The song? The tour? He decided on the tour. "Nah, what kind of surprise would that be, right? I was just super busy. You know how you're super busy and forget about things? That's me, you've got that from me."
"You forget to eat", Isaac agreed. "What's Essie's Song like?"

[wakingwakewood]

Essie nodded, happy that Isaac seemed to be settling, relieved that this wasn't ending in tears or worse. He'd be okay with it, and if he had nightmares while Bach was gone, she could deal with those with a simple phone call. He was still clingy, but who wouldn't be, right? They'd survived worse, they'd survive this.

As for Bach, she fixed him with a curious gaze. "Yeah, what is my song like?" It was the first she'd heard that he'd written anything about her and she was touched. She knew very little about music aside from the piano lessons she'd had while Grandy was alive, so she'd never really been able to connect with Back and Isaac on that level.